DADDY, YOU TERMINATED MY FUTURE: MS. SANDILE TSHUMA

Was it me or my mother

the reason why you denied me

abandoned me, rejected me

You honestly wanted nothing to do with me

You left me in the dark

Daddy, you sent my heart to the glue factory

This keeps on sending shivers up my spine

You laid your bed and by the time you

realized it was made of thorns

You thought it’s best, you fled

You were absent to see my first step

You were absent to hear my first word

absent to give me your so-called love

Oh! Daddy, you shut my dreams

You proved how useless I am to you

You kept me wondering why?  Why me?

Or am I in a different planet?

Oh no! Daddy, you shut me down.

Guess you thought you were killing the goose

That lay golden eggs.

Thought you were killing two birds with

one stone

not wanting to admit that you were killing

your only hope for the future

Ooh!  Mamamiya

Daddy, you shut me down.

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Ms. Sandile Tshuma is a student at the Africa House College in Gauteng Province in Johannesburg, South Africa.  She is a participant in the South Africa International Men's Day 'Teach Us Peace" Children's Literacy Initiative.

A LETTER FROM THE GRAVE: MS. SANDILE TSHUMA

His eyes were filled with hate, anger, and depression.  His heart was in agony.  I tried walking away but my feet were stiff and my heart jumped out of my chest.  But I really managed to catch it, even though it was bouncing up and down on the floor.  I took it back and told it to be patient.  He took two steps closer to me.  Then I took three steps away from him.    My heart lost patience again but this time around it stayed calm.

          “Come close!” he whispered.

Tears were on my cheeks and my body was so stiff.  Although I tried keeping my eyes dry, I could not.  Then he hit me.  He hit me so hard that I cried louder than before.  But that’s just what he wanted.  He wanted me to scream louder than my mother.  I remembered all those painful days when my Dad would chase me to my room.  I could not refuse, because I knew what I would get in return.  From my room I could hear my mother screaming her lungs out.  I could not help her because I was a scared little girl.  I wanted to embrace her so close and never let her go. 

“Sandile, my girl, I just want a better future for you, my angel,” she would answer back with a sorrowfully sad voice.

          "But mommy," I would cry.

          "Ssshhss! My little flower, Everything will be alright," she would answer back with a sorrowful voice.

             She would sing a lullaby every night to me so that I could go to sleep:

          “Hush little angel, don’t you cry. Everything is gonna be alright."

 

           I still hear her sing every time he beats me up.

          “Shut up,” he would shout.  “Get out of my sight, stupid little rat.”

           I would stay for days in my room, starving almost to death, no water or food.  And then I would ask myself:  “Was life really meant for me?”   -- until my mother gave me the strength I never knew I had.  I swallowed my emotions and pains and stood up to my abusive, animal of a Father. 

            “Sandile, come here,” he shouted.

            I just kept quiet.

            “I said come here or else . . .”, he shouted.

            “Or else what?” I said to him as I stood my ground.  “Are you going to kill me and chop me into pieces, and throw my body into the sea and deny everything just like you did to my mother’s corpse?  You are nothing but a coward and guess what, I’m not scared of you anymore!!”

            “Maybe you are right.  I am a big fat loser and a coward,” he said. 

          He took a knife – closing it in on me.  He was prepared to kill me.  He shoved it deep within my chest – straight to my heart.  I might have died, but I died a proud death.  I stood up to a bully even though it was too late.  I stood for what I believed in.  It is never too late to stop violence, war, and poverty.

            I died proud!

__________ 

Ms. Sandile Tshuma is a student at the Africa House College located in Gauteng Province in Johannesburg, South Africa.  Ms. Tshuma is a participant in the South Africa International Men's Day "Teach Us Peace" Children's Literacy Initiative.

WHY MOST KIDS ARE FATHERLESS: MS. TANYA NDLOVU

        

  Why is it that we live in a world that has so many generations of children who do not have fathers?  Personally, I think it’s the society we live in, the society that encourages young girls to cook, clean, wash dishes, and do house chores while a boy child does other activities -- like playing or just hanging out with friends.  A child develops the mentality that doing house chores is something that should only be done by women.  That then influences a young boy in that certain society to grow up not taking responsibilities.  While society is not always to blame, some parents are involved in divorces and leave children caught in between in such a way that women are left to take care of the children and the men just pay maintenance or just leave the marriage and not look back.  Some men think that paying their children’s bills is being a Father, while they don’t’ realize that being a father needs full attention.  Some kids get effected while some kids grow up thinking that a Father being absent in a child’s life is appropriate or is normal.     Some kids are dumped at other family members’ houses and don’t get morals or proper role models and are then involved in teenage pregnancy.  So the boy decides to run away and leaves the girl stranded and the baby grows up fatherless.   In some cases, men are not always to blame.  There are women who are irresponsible and decide to have intercourse with several men and fall pregnant and do not know who the father is.  All these factors negatively affect children who are still growing and they automatically think being in a child’s life doesn’t really matter or it is appropriate or they end up being involved in drugs, thuggery, robbery, or other social ills.

            Having a school subject or activities based on pre-marriage courses that could mold both young boys and girls to become better candidates for marriages and as such become better parents.  These subjects would discourage excessive drinking and clubbing as these activities promote unplanned pregnancies which thereby bring fatherless children.   These activities could help in molding and shaping our youth to become and grow into better and responsible adults.

            Men and women rise up and take control of your responsibilities and teach your young ones to follow suit.  Help them and lead them to a brighter and better future that you have always dreamed of and imagined.  Help them make it a reality and not just an imagination.

________

Ms. Tanya Ndlovu is a student at the Africa House College which is located in Gauteng Province in Johanessburg, South Africa.  Ms. Ndlovu is a participant in the South Africa International Men's Day "Teach Us Peace" Children's Literacy Initiative.

WHERE IS HE?: MR. NHLANGANSO TSHABANGO

          Where is he?  Will he ever return?  These are questions that many mothers ask themselves.  Having to raise a child on your own, supporting a child, both financially and emotionally is a strain.  A family can’t be complete without a Father.  Well, this is the case for many people in our country. 

            Day-in and day-out, Men forget women, play with their feelings, make them feel as if they will be there no matter what -- only to get one thing – sexual intercourse. As soon as they impregnate women, they run off, leaving the female to fend for herself and her unborn baby.  Men like that are cowards.  They are not brave enough to take on the responsibility of raising a child.

            It’s not only the mother who feels abandoned, the child often thinks about his or her father, wondering why he abandoned him or her. They feel as if they are a burden, that they are not loved.  You often hear kids bragging about how proud their fathers are of them.  But there are some kids out there who wonder if their father would be proud too.  The mothers often have to be both the mother and the father.

            There are some things that a child should learn from his father, things only a father should say.  A young boy will grow up thinking it is okay to run away from his responsibilities or that it is okay to not be fully committed in a relationship and continue the vicious cycle of creating fatherless families.  And young girls might also grow up thinking it is okay to be used by Men or that Men are cowards or scums.

            This is a cycle that might never end unless something is done about it.    Even though Men who leave their children are considered cowards, some of them leave because they feel as if they are too young to handle such a responsibility.  They do, though, support their children financially.  No one should go through this kind of turmoil. Everyone deserves to have a complete family.

            A child without a father will always feel as if she is not good enough for him when it is actually the other way around.  Fathers who abandon their children are not worthy to be in their lives.  This cycle needs to stop.  Many people are hurt – not physically – but emotionally and mentally.

_____

Mr. Nhlanganso Tshabango is a student at the Africa House College in Gauteng Province in Johannesburg, South Africa and a participant in the South Africa International Men's Day "Teach Us Peace" Children's Literacy Initiative.