WHERE IS HE?: MR. NHLANGANSO TSHABANGO

          Where is he?  Will he ever return?  These are questions that many mothers ask themselves.  Having to raise a child on your own, supporting a child, both financially and emotionally is a strain.  A family can’t be complete without a Father.  Well, this is the case for many people in our country. 

            Day-in and day-out, Men forget women, play with their feelings, make them feel as if they will be there no matter what -- only to get one thing – sexual intercourse. As soon as they impregnate women, they run off, leaving the female to fend for herself and her unborn baby.  Men like that are cowards.  They are not brave enough to take on the responsibility of raising a child.

            It’s not only the mother who feels abandoned, the child often thinks about his or her father, wondering why he abandoned him or her. They feel as if they are a burden, that they are not loved.  You often hear kids bragging about how proud their fathers are of them.  But there are some kids out there who wonder if their father would be proud too.  The mothers often have to be both the mother and the father.

            There are some things that a child should learn from his father, things only a father should say.  A young boy will grow up thinking it is okay to run away from his responsibilities or that it is okay to not be fully committed in a relationship and continue the vicious cycle of creating fatherless families.  And young girls might also grow up thinking it is okay to be used by Men or that Men are cowards or scums.

            This is a cycle that might never end unless something is done about it.    Even though Men who leave their children are considered cowards, some of them leave because they feel as if they are too young to handle such a responsibility.  They do, though, support their children financially.  No one should go through this kind of turmoil. Everyone deserves to have a complete family.

            A child without a father will always feel as if she is not good enough for him when it is actually the other way around.  Fathers who abandon their children are not worthy to be in their lives.  This cycle needs to stop.  Many people are hurt – not physically – but emotionally and mentally.

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Mr. Nhlanganso Tshabango is a student at the Africa House College in Gauteng Province in Johannesburg, South Africa and a participant in the South Africa International Men's Day "Teach Us Peace" Children's Literacy Initiative.